Friday, December 1, 2006

Hodgepodge and Mish-Mash

Sorry about the lag (and I actually am—hmmm—grumble, expletive), but I’ve been busy tending to my stash of green stuff (money!) and blogging doesn’t pay the bills yet. (Yes, I know I’ve visited other blogs in the past week, but I do that when I am relaxing, and writing this is too much like work to do when I’m relaxing.)

Anyway, here is some of the stupidity that has been going on while I was away:

The World Chess Federation introduced drug testing at the Asian Games. Because you know those wily chess masters are using performance enhancing drugs like...um, well. *shrugs*

Los Alamos scientists have taught bees to detect explosives. Now, instead of teaching the bees to render them inoperable, they are going to teach humans to speak bee.

Lots of science in the news.

Scientist have finally realized that lounging is not only more comfortable than sitting upright, but better for you as well. Hell, I could’ve told you that.

The United States, along with the United Nations, has decided that the best way to deal with a lunatic with nuclear ambitions is to irritate him into submission by grounding him (my parents called it restriction). This is just another in a long line of measures designed to deal with Kim Jong Il and North Korea by Not Doing Anything. Now I’m not saying we should invade North Korea—I am neither stupid nor suicidal—but give me a break, the black market over there puts the New York Stock Exchange to shame.

This one is a bit old, but it had to be shared:

A New York man was arrested on the day after Thanksgiving after spreading pornographic magazine pages across the floor of another man’s barn and spray-painting his goats. The police labeled this as an act of harassment. Please, come harass me. I don’t have enough porn. The man in question was charged with burglary, among other things. Apparently, the police there do not know that the definition of burglary includes the phrase “intent to commit theft.”

That is all for now. If you need me, you know where I’ll be.

3 comments:

Serena Joy said...

Wow, lots of weird science going on. I'd heard something or other about the bees but it went right over my head at the time.

I have to agree that what the New York moron did to those poor goats constituted torture. I mean, come on -- orange? Orange is torturous any way you look at it. No, seriously, what on earth would possess anyone to paint livestock? That's insane.

Liz Burton said...

Hey Vic,

Just killin' time waiting for the B-man to really be asleep so I can relax. Thought I'd drop in and read your latest rant.

I didn't know Drew Carey wrote about Dirt Jokes, and I'm shocked that anyone could come up with enough to make a book.

Sorry. Couldn't stop myself.

I'm envious of your reading list. I wish I had that much time!

Victor Allen Winters said...

Serena - 'Tis true. Although I seen plenty of livestock (sheep for instance) with numbers painted on them--but then again, the number wasn't painted on their genitals.

Liz - I see. My blog only a place to kill time. Sounds good to me. And thanks for the tip on the typo.

word ver: hxibit (no no, it should be xibth)