Saturday, December 9, 2006

Time for Another Weekend Roll-up

Russia and the Austrian Alps both have exceeded their record high temperatures. This is the kind of sensationalist reporting that makes my fingers itch to wrap around the windpipe of journalists. Many people will read the headlines, make another mark in the “proof for global warming” column, and continue on their way searching for the newest nude pictures of Brittany Spears (which I have been told are getting easier and easier to find). The problem with this is that the temperature for Russia is less than a degree higher than the previous record—and it is only the record for December (the previous record was in 1953). The Austrian article doesn’t even give specifics, and is filled with vague assurances that it is proof of global warming.

What is it with goats in the news? Last time I pointed out an article about a man who spray-painted goats. This time I found an article about how Sweden is going to safe guard its Christmas Goat, which apparently, has been vandalized for many years, and burned down on a number of occasions. I am not sure which is worse, that there are idiots that deface national symbols, or that the powers that be are putting a stop to an annual Christmas tradition.

Want government stupidity? I’ll give you the next three stories.

A man driving a float in a Christmas parade, was arrested for DUI --Driving Under the Influence for those of you not familiar with the term. Now, besides the man’s stupidity (though I had to laugh when I read that he’d passed the tractor in front of him in the parade) it is worth pointing out that the police charged him with 18 counts of kidnapping. These must be the same police that think breaking into a barn and leaving pornography is burglary.

Finally, the Bong Hits 4 Jesus case is going before the Supreme Court. This was stupid when it happened (2002) and it is just as stupid now. The kid was not on campus and it wasn’t a fieldtrip, therefore he had every right to unfurl a banner reading “Bong Hits 4 Jesus.” How hard is that to figure out?

And the last piece of government idiocy (in this post, though I wish it was forever), New York has decided to crack down on the mystery meats sold in many ethnic grocery stores in the state. Now I am all for safety, but what did they do with this confiscated meat? They destroyed most of it. There people starving all over the world, and they are destroying food. Tons of food, not one or two chickens, around 1.3 million pounds of food was destroyed because it might, not did, contain bacteria or viruses. That is like killing someone because they might turn into a homicidal axe murderer.

I would be remiss if I didn’t hold up the mirror of stupidity for large corporations to look into. Major record labels are going to begin releasing music as MP3s as a test to see if consumers want music that is playable on all digital music processors. A test? Aren’t these the same morons who are taking people to court over downloading music, music which is—if you did not already know—in Mp3 format? But of course in our society if a formal study hasn’t been done and isn’t supported by the vocal majority, then the issue doesn’t exist or isn’t true.

And one more just for fun, a 61 year-old grandmother was arrested for running pot. It turns out she was trying to support a Bingo habit.

Until next time, I’ll be in my trailer.


Serena Joy said...

Dang, I wish I had a (travel) trailer. With so much idiocy afoot in the world, I'd be sorely tempted to point my trailer on down the road and not look back. Thankfully, I've been spared the Britney pix. And goats.:)

Liz said...

I'm just wondering how incredibly bored you must be to discover that nudie pics of Brit the clit abound.

Sorry, Vic. Maybe you should get out more.

Southern Writer said...

I read all your posts. Snort. You owe me a keyboard. From now on, I'll know to cover it before I come here. Thanks for the link! Yours is going up on my blog pronto. Now go to your trailer.

Victor Allen Winters said...

SJ -Ahh yes, but with out the idiots, I wouldn't have anything to talk about.

Liz - I said I was told, I don't know for sure, though if you need some I can look.

SW - I rarely seem to leave the trailer; people scare me. Glad you enjoyed it, come by anytime.

Southern Writer said...

I was here again. Thanks!

Serena Joy said...

I hear you, Vic. If it weren't for the idiots abounding, I'd have nothing to talk about. :)

Southern Writer said...

(waves) I stopped by.

tom sheepandgoats said...

C'mon Victor, shake a leg. I am lurking & ready to make a comment, but you're not posting. Do it! :)

Southern Writer said...

I stopped by again to wish a happy holiday. Would that be Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwaanza, or the Winter Solstice? Your choice, just enjoy it, and for pity sake, give us a post, will you? I need a good laugh. No pressure here, though.