Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Tii-i-i-ime, ain't on my side (no it ain't)

Okay time for another weekend mid-week roll-up.

New-Jersey considers allowing idiots to vote. This move would bring them up to date with the other 49 states which already allow idiots to vote, as should be obvious by election results. The State Senate President seems to be offended by the word idiot—I am offended by the idiots—though to be fair, the word has no place in a legal document such as a state constitution. Of course, it might be better if we could get the other 49 states to keep their idiots from voting as well.

This one confused me: a 28 year old Texas woman was sentenced to two and a half years in federal prison on the charge of “illegal use of a communication facility.” The Communication facility was the US postal service, and the illegal use? She mailed 78 pounds of pot to herself. (I am assuming she mailed it from El Paso to Amarillo, but it doesn’t say.) What I am confused about is what happened to the drug trafficking or possession with the intent to distribute charges (or is that okay as long as you don’t mail it)?

Do-it-yourself exterminating is deadly business as a Florida man and a German retiree learned.

The Florida man mixed an indoor fogger with WD-40 (an all-purpose lubricant) in order to kill bees. In the process his house caught fire. The German drove metal spikes into the ground and connected a 380 volt cable to them in an effort to kill the moles infesting his garden. This plan failed spectacularly when all he managed to kill was himself.

And finally, a burglary suspect tried to escape from New York police by hiding inside the county Sherriff’s office. On the bright side, he’ll be happy to know that when he gets out of jail he’ll be able to vote in New Jersey.

Until next time,
The trailer calleth


Romulus Crowe said...

Perhaps a better wording for that New Jersey constitution would be 'Idiots are allowed neither to vote nor to stand for office'.

Then again, perhaps that should be in every country's constitution.

Serena Joy said...

Good roundup. Stories like these make you laugh, but they also make you shake your head at the idiocy rampant within the human condition.:)

Victor Allen Winters said...

Rom - that is an excellent idea.

SJ - thank you, I have met my goal.

NYD said...

Have you been to New Jersy? Removing the word idiot from their constitution probably wont make much of a difference.
There is no end to lunacy and I am certain that you will have your hands full for quite some time.

Victor Allen Winters said...

NYD - I've only been to the Airport in New Jersey. From what I hear, I haven't missed much. Thanks for the visit.

Southern Writer said...

See my head shaking?

In Memphis, it's illegal to back out of your driveway.

It's illegal for a man to be in his yard without wearing a shirt (they say nothing about women).

It's illegal to stand or walk in a bar while carrying an alcoholic beverage.

Romulus Crowe said...

So it's impossible to drink in Memphis? If you buy a drink, you can't stand at the bar and drink it, nor can you carry it to a table. If you ask a waiter/waitress for a drink, it's illegal for them to bring it to you. The only answer is to lie on the bar!

I have a picture of streets full of permanently immobilised cars, where the owners have driven into their driveways and now can't back out again.

And they can't even get a drink!

Politicians are a separate species, sent by aliens to irritate us all to death.

Victor Allen Winters said...

SW - When they make it illegal to be an idiot let me know; I'll move.

Rom - I don't know about irritating us to death, our seem to be actively killing people.

tom sheepandgoats said...

The guy from Syracuse is only one town away from me.

As a kid, riding shotgun while my folks were driving the Thruway, I used to imagine the wooded median would be a great hiding place, sort of like Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer on that island.

Southern Writer said...

Rom, the law is that the server must carry the drink if it has to be carried.

These are all old laws that are still on the books and are never enforced unless the cops need a reason to f**k with you. I'll bet most of them don't even know about them, though. There have been a few times where I wished the one about men wearing shirts in their yards would be enforced. I didn't need to see that. No one needed to see that.

VAW, that will never happen. The South is the State of Idiot, and Memphis is its capital.

Victor Allen Winters said...

Tom - I've never thought of that. What a place to hide. Of course, Had the Syracuse man been a child that would have been a different story.

SW - Yes, I know. Alabama is the same way.